I'm eating all of the evidence.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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