I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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