Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
