I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
