just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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