Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
