this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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