I feel great
I just peed on a car
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
