just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Randomize
