Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
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