eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
