I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
