Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
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