I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
