You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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