ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
