threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
