Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
