it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize