I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
