dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
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