I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
