Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
it's great music for shaving your balls
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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