butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Randomize
