Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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