Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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