Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
