i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
