Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
You're like the curious george of whores
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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