i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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