i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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