piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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