she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
