STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
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