Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
