at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
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