...so i touched it.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
