i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
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