He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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