I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I deserve this hangover.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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