Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
