This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
