Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
