In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
NoShamevember. You game?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
