WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
is it fun? or sober?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
