but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
