I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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