I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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