i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
