She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
