Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
