woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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