it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
