I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
