It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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