I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
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