You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
