if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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