Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Randomize
